


Nightmares

by cardandkieran



Category: The Folk of the Air - Holly Black
Genre: Angst, F/M, Heartbreak, This is a little dramatic, and too sad, so be prepared
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-26
Updated: 2019-03-26
Packaged: 2019-12-18 02:38:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18240698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cardandkieran/pseuds/cardandkieran
Summary: POST TWK, SO HAS SPOILERSJude wakes up from a nightmare. Cardan is there to help her.





	Nightmares

Jude woke up in the middle of the day too frightened, trying to locate herself. It was dark in the room and she could barely see Cardan lying next to her.

She began to tremble.

A recurring nightmare had haunted her for months. Almost every day she woke up after dreaming of her time in the Undersea, with Orlagh and Nicasia torturing her psychologically. With Balekin touching her, kissing her.

Every time she woke up looking for air, with the feeling she was drowning. Sometimes she would wake up disgusted with herself, still feeling his fingers on her skin.

It was not different this time.

This time, however, Cardan woke up, which was unusual. He blinked a few times and looked at her, who was sitting on the bed still with her hand to her throat, convincing herself that there was enough air to breathe.

"Jude?"

His voice was husky with sleep, but his eyes were very alert. He stood up slowly, leaning on one elbow to look at her better.

She could see his black eyes staring at her with intensity. The jaw rigid with worry. His messy hair, pointing to all sides. The look too intense, too close.

At that moment he reminded her so much of Balekin.

Cardan reached out to touch her, and Jude backed away from the bed in seconds.

"Do not touch me" she said, her voice sounding broken, too brittle, too frightened.

She knew he was not him but she could not help herself. His fingers on her skin seemed too real, too present. She hated to recall those moments, the thoughts she had, that it would happen forever, that she would never be rescued, and that Balekin would use her as a trophy to annoy Cardan. Thoughts that he could go further, that he might want more than kisses and that she could do nothing.

Jude hugged her body, feeling so helpless that the tears threatened to fall. Cardan got up and sat on the bed, too startled by her reaction to do anything. Jude could not face him, see the look of concern on his face in despair.

She closed her eyes and the tears finally fell, making her feel even weaker. She hated it.

"Another nightmare?" He asked. She could hear Cardan coming out of bed, but she still could not open her eyes. She could not face so much worry, so much despair, when she felt so used by his brother.

The crying rose stronger at her throat, and she could not handle it. She cried every for night she woke up quietly and dared not move, afraid of waking Cardan and have to explain the reason of the bad dreams. She cried for the nights he woke up, and no question was asked because he knew she would tell him when she was ready.

She cried for never having the courage to tell Cardan everything, for never having the courage ruin even more the image he had of the only brother who at least pretended to care for him. She cried for every day that she pretended to be strong even with the memories of Nicasia's torments haunting her, even though she had to look at the Princess every day, even though she had to endure Nicasia trying to seduce Cardan.

Jude felt the tremor all over her body, forcing her to sit on the floor, leaning against something. She felt Cardan approach, still not touching her, too uncertain about what to do. She opened her eyes after a while, and found him sitting in front of her, at a safe distance, respecting the space she had requested.

Jude thought her heart would explode at that moment.

She looked at him, really looked, and thought how stupid she was to think he looked like Balekin. His fluttered eyes, his lips a thin line of concern, his hands slightly tight, as if he were preventing himself from touching her, comforting her.

That was Cardan, she told herself. Cardan, who loved her, who made it clear in every action he did that he struggled every day to legitimate her as his equal. Cardan, who let her rule in his place, who did not care what she was doing, as long as she was happy and well.

She reached for him, still a little shaky, but more confident of what she was doing. Cardan took her hand immediately. And they stood there, holding hands, until the tremors passed, until the tears dried, until the remnants of the nightmare left.

He approached her an hour later, finally embracing her, and Jude allowed herself to be hugged, to let herself lean against his chest, to feel his heart pounding, to feel Cardan's hands on her back, holding her as if she were the most important thing in his life.

Jude felt loved. 

And then she slept. It was the first time in many days that she had no nightmares.

**Author's Note:**

> sooo, i know i've promised the calanmai fic but i don't have much time to work on it now, but i'm trying, i promise. it will be posted soon!!!  
> while i do not post a huuuuge fic, enjoy this little piece of scene i wrote. hope ypu guys like it!!!! 
> 
> please tell me if you liked this. 
> 
> and sorry if there's anything wrong, english is not my first language


End file.
